After a demanding intersession, I made the decision to head home and spend the weekend relaxing before my final semester of college. I laid in bed last night unable to fall asleep. My mind was going in a million directions thinking about all that lies ahead. Hence the title, and why I wrote this post!
Before I started this school year the thought of graduating really had no meaning to me. As it was I was already starting my first semester of graduate school (as part of a combine bachelors/masters program), and felt at ease knowing that my plans for the next two years were put in place.
A lot has happened between now and then, and I have since realized the reality of graduation. I am at a point of two transitions. It’s like I have to be two people at once. At times I’m an undergrad, who is finally healthy enough to enjoy college, and on the other hand, I’m a first year graduate student. These transitions both take on two very different levels of responsibility, and I’m just realizing how challenging it has been for me to be “stuck in the middle” of the two.
I’m emotional right now, as I write this post. Feeling upset that I think of the past four years as being a time that I dealt with the ups and downs of medical conditions, yet I am thrilled and elated that we have moved past this point, and that I’m at a much better place in my life. When I started this school year, I told myself you need to embrace all the final experiences of my undergrad career, and do what makes me happy. In a sense I feel like I’m trying to make up for lost time.
I quickly found that finding balance was a challenge. On top of the “typical stressors of college”, I had an internship, found that grad school came with different expectations, and most importantly, I had to ensure I was managing my exercise programand the GF diet. Despite dealing with this all, my experience last semester on my school retreattaught me to take a step back, and breathe. This is a shift in mindset that has begun to help me in so many areas of my life.
I’m sure many of you who had a long road to find a diagnosis may look back on time in your life, and realize that you missed out on a lot. From time to time, you might get angry, feel resentment or want to cry. That’s ok, you are allow to. Let yourself truly experience the mixed emotions, but then take a deep breath, and do something to allow yourself to step in the “forward direction.”
Monday officially marks the first day of 2nd semester. Lucky for me I have one more day, and officially start Tuesday morning. I wrote this post not knowing its direction, but hope it will serve as a reminder for myself (and you) in the exciting and challenging moments of transitions. Enjoy your weekend.
A Deep Breath is Powerful
It’s OK to cry
Acknowledge, but don’t dwell on the things you cannot change
Do the things you LOVE
Move forward, and follow your heart
Find support in the ones you love
Be grateful for all the wonderful experiences you have in front of you
“Right here, Right now”
And make sure you alway remember….
Laughter is the best medicine